51 Lessons on Being Alive

I turned 51 last week, and in true form, I celebrated by reflecting, swearing, and questioning the meaning of everything.

Life is an absolute fucking miracle.

Not in a motivational quote way. Not in a soft pastel affirmation way. In a holy-shit-how-are-we-even-here way.

To be conceived. To be born. To erupt into existence like a rogue shooting star. To become a thinking, feeling, self-aware being who can pause mid-life and whisper, I am aware that I exist.

That is not normal. That is cosmic. That is absurd. That is sacred.

We inhale experiences. We collect scars, crushes, grief, awe, insight, debt, and courage. We build inner worlds, demolish them, rebuild them better or worse. We witness ourselves witnessing life.

I started writing these lessons at 35. Now at 51, I’m not here to clean them up. I’m here to make them truer. Messier. More honest. More earned.

This is not a list of commandments.

This is a field guide to being human.

Here is what life has taught me so far.

1. Life is chaotic and choreographed at the same time, like a drunk comet that somehow still obeys gravity.

2. We control almost nothing, yet we hold enormous power in how we choose, respond, love, and begin again.

3. Breath runs the show. Your nervous system, your mind, and your courage all ride on it.

4. Thin air strips you to the truth. Altitude is a spiritual interrogation. Go trekking, or on a pilgrimage - experience nothing more than putting one foot in front of the other for days at a time. 

5. When oxygen disappears, and comfort dies, you learn what actually matters and how little you really need.

6. One decision can change everything. One honest yes. One brave no. One leap.

7. Aim to thrive, not merely survive. Existing is not the same as living.

8. Wherever you go, there you are, still carrying your patterns like carry-on baggage.

9. Progress is not linear. Growth is switchbacks, false summits, backtracking, and recalibration. There is no final arrival.

10. Your thoughts are spells. Cast wisely.

11. Let go. Of outcomes. Of stories. Of who you thought you had to be.

12. Time does not erase pain. It metabolizes it.

13. Solitude can save you. It shows you who you are when no one is watching.

14. You already know the answer more often than you admit.

15. The body is a blank canvas. Treat it like sacred art.

16. Love your body even when it changes, softens, scars, ages, and surprises you. It is your vehicle through this wildlife.

17. If you do not take care of yourself, from the inside out, you will burn out trying to save everyone else.

18. Boundaries matter. They are not walls. They are starting points that reveal how far love, work, and energy can stretch.

19. Own your shit. Release responsibility for everyone else.

20. Apologizing sincerely is a second chance at the dance.

21. We are mirrors. We reflect, trigger, expose, awaken.

22. Perception shapes reality. Change the lens and the world shifts.

23. Never judge a person by the chapter you happened to walk into.

24. People do not magically change. We evolve, or we calcify.

25. Forgiveness is not weakness. It is a jailbreak for the heart.

26. Share your stories. “Me too” is medicine.

27. Broken hearts are beautiful. They prove you loved fully. Vulnerability is the price of a meaningful life.

28. Love is not always meant to last forever. Sometimes it is intended to teach, crack, reveal, or awaken.

29. Family is not only blood. Chosen family can teach you how to trust, belong, and love more honestly.

30. Strong female friendships are survival. Sisterhood is medicine.

31. Sometimes the most appropriate response is simply, “Fuck.” On many levels. And that is okay.

32. Table manners still matter. So does kindness. So does presence.

33. There is no such thing as talent without elbow grease. If you want something, do the work. Show up. Sweat.

34. Persistence beats giftedness. Devotion beats wishing.

35. Everything is temporary. If it hurts now, it will not hurt forever.

36. Grief is feral, sacred, lonely, and deeply human. It will change you.

37. Stillness is not still. The universe hums. Everything vibrates.

38. Silence can be fullness, not emptiness.

39. Everyone is both student and teacher, whether they admit it or not.

40. You are stronger and more capable than you were taught to believe.

41. Feeling deeply is not a weakness. It is connective tissue.

42. Adventure is a posture toward life, not an escape from it.

43. The most epic journey is the one inward.

44. Healing happens beside another. We are wired for each other.

45. Reinvention is not a crisis. It is a rite of passage.

46. Beginner’s mind keeps you alive. Certainty calcifies the soul.

47. Gratitude and humility are radical life strategies.

48. Life is fragile. Love harder. Hold your people closer.

49. You do not need to rush your becoming. Depth takes time.

50. Honesty lands harder than perfection.

51. Life is not about proving yourself. It is about being fully alive, fully expressed, and wildly present.

And because some truths don’t need explanation:

I like my toast super crunchy. Same with bacon.

I order omelettes but cook scrambled. That’s not just eggs. That’s identity.

Always have a book you cannot put down, even if you have to start ten to find the one.

Sometimes survival looks like starting over.

Sometimes growth looks like saying “fuck it.”

Sometimes wisdom looks like knowing when to walk away.

And sometimes being human looks like trying again tomorrow.

Here’s to another epic adventure around the sun.

Penny